Colorado, nothing will change your beauty.

Recently with everything that has happened in my beautiful state of Colorado there have been a lot of people wondering and asking, including my friends and I, just what is going on anymore. I know someone who is religious, and I mean not the type of person who sits there and preaches or stuffs religion down your throat, but someone who truly believes and yet lets others believe how they want to. I admire that greatly. Well we were talking about all the fires and how some who know the bible could speculate that the fires in Colorado were God's way of cleansing. First theirs floods, then fire....
To a person who is a believer but not a reader of the bible that thought can be sobering and intense to digest. It makes you sit and wonder, can that be for real? Is all that hoopla about 2012 really legitimate and this is only the beginning, all joking aside, is it? Then something more horrible and devastating happens. Homes and objects can be rebuilt or bought. Fires can destroy "things" but as long as the people of the homes were safe then nothing too horrible was lost. But then July 20th happened and that changed the way people saw life all over again.
You can't replace people. EVER. You can't buy or build them, and nothing can make that pain of losing someone so dear fade. Time doesn't heal wounds, you just get used to the wound being there. Missing them will be easier at some point, but you'll never stop missing them. I love Colorado for the simple fact that we are so much an entire community. I can't even begin to tell you how many commercials or websites have been put up wanting to help out victims of both the wild fires and the theater shooting. We as Coloradans always come together when the time is needed. And we won't ever let James Holmes or anyone like him take that away from us. We learn from what happens and make changes for the better. If you can't learn from your history then you are doomed to repeat it. I have yet to go to a state that I have found to have nicer people than Colorado, granted I haven't been to many state, or at least haven't stayed in many for long and it could be said that I'm a biased native and my opinion doesn't really count. But I know that no matter what has happened in Colorado or what will happen in the future, all Coloradans will pull together in times of need and come to help one another. Life, family and friends are too precious to not know, understand and realize that important fact.
Colorado holds its own majestic beauty, one that people country wide can appreciate. But the beauty that I am most proud of claiming is the beauty of community and of having perfect strangers sending their love to one another and showing their support despite possibly having no connection to either incidences besides them taking place in our Colorado.
So Coloradans, stay strong, stay together and most of all keep sharing your love and support and nothing will ever bring our beautiful state down.
♥

Changes for the future

I know I'm totally horrible about keeping up with updating my blog but hey I think that just means I have a life ha ha at least I would like to assume that's true. But so far things have changed a lot. I am no longer going to school, money is always such an issue. Moved back home to Englewood to live with the parents so I can save up money to hopefully go back to school and finish up my last year and a half at Metro in Denver. I'm currently trying to finish writing my book that I've been going back and forth on for about 3 years now ha ha. And let me tell you, its harder than you think. Or at least for me. I have all these ideas bouncing in my head and yet I just can't seem to get them to come out on paper in an orderly fashion ha ha ah well what can you do but just try. Life is just full of surprises and you can make a tragedy or into a party :) Make the most of it with what you have, just don't give up. Hoping to get at least a few more chapters going so I can have some input.

My Kids

These are my soccer kids. They are amazing and work hard. There is enough kids to have two teams (31 kids is a lot). Our Gold team was 3rd place this year in the league and our Blue team improved so much from last season, it was the best thing for me to watch. I can't imagine not being a soccer coach and being here for these kids. Brian and I are so proud of all the kids we've ever been priveleged to coach. We will be going into our 2nd year of coach this Fall which means our 5th season and we can't wait to see what is in store for us and the kids.

Broken Hearts

I didn't write this, I just found it in a book I once read. I can't remember what book because I was younger when I read it. But it was a passage that stuck with me.

When you drop a glass or a plate to the ground it makes a loud crashing sound. When a window shatters, a table leg breaks, or a picture falls off the wall, it makes a noise. But as for your heart, when that breaks, it's completely silent. You would think as it's so important it would make the loudest noise in the world or even have some sort of ceremonious sound like the gong of a cymbal or the ringing of a bell. But it's silent and you almost wish there was a noise to distract you from the pain.
If there is a noise, it's internal. It screams and no one can hear it but you. It screams so loudly your ears ring and your head aches. It thrashes around in your chest like a great white caught in the sea, it roars like a mother bear whose cub has been taken. That's what it looks like and that's what it sounds like, a thrashing, panicking, trapped great big beast, roaring like a prisoner to its own emotions. But that's the thing about love; no one is untouchable. It's as wild as that, as raw as an open flesh wound exposed to salty sea water, but when it actually breaks, it's silent, you're just screaming on the inside and no one can hear it.

Fall

So much has already happened this fall. Brian and I moved into our apartment and Avy will be moving in soon too. I'm very excited for this new part of my life. Soccer with the kids is going great. I can't believe we're almost half way done with the season. This group of kids is amazing and very talented. There are a few who have attitude problems but they're middle school so that is to be expected. For the most part though I really enjoy coaching them. It helps that we've also won more games then we have before but still, its all the kids. Chris went back to school. I know crazy but he has a sweet deal going for him, where he coaches the men and women teams as a goalie coach and instead of getting paid for that the school is paying for him to get his master's degree at NU. So he is doing what he loves. Josh is a sophomore in high school this year and saving up money to buy a car :/ I'm super nervous and I can't believe that he's that old. Kadie is a freshman and is very busy with cheerleading and soccer. That girl does more extra curricular activities than anyone I know. But she loves it. But so far everything is uneventful. Just getting used to living on my own and being an adult but its fun. For now. Getting the holiday's done and I'm excited for all of them especially Christmas because I turn 21 this year!! That will be a fun day for sure. The boys already have it planned out...well mostly, they're not known for planning.

Change

The only constant in life is change. There's no avoiding it, no missing and no use in trying to find it. All one can do is stand up, plant your feet and let it rush on and over you. Change in itself is a challenge. It's a fight and it may not seem worth it in the beginning, but there is always a reason for it. Always a lesson and always a destination at the end of the path to prove it. Since the time everyone was little, there has been reasons and situations that change us, that teach us, guide us and sometimes force us to realize something that we may not have thought of before being pushed to change. I know I'm being repetitive with the word change, but its inevitable, just as surely as death. Everyone has gone through a friendship that was tested, something threatened to break that friendship and both you and your friend had to decided if your friendship was worth it. If it wasn't then you changed your view, your opinion and assumption of what a real friendship should be, what should be included in the realms of friendship. The same could be said with any type of relationship put in your path. A romantic relationship and even a family relationship. By the time you are 20 years old, you should know what your likes, dislikes, desires, torments, fears, and joys are in your life. But because of life, because of circumstances that are unforeseen in the whole scheme of life, not just yours but the world's, you are constiently changing those views, the ideas and the knowledge that you have of such information. Don't be afraid of what change brings, just accept it and acknowledge that there is something far greater, far bigger and far more important than what you deem is important.

Summer

It's crazy to think how fast summer has already gone by. My family and I went to Nebraska to watch Chris graduate, which is scary to think. Kadie continuated from middle school and will be a freshman next year. I went with Brian and his family to the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo, I absolutely love that place. It's so much fun and gorgeous views. They had baby giraffes that were adorable. Then that night we went to a Rockies game. I've always loved the Rockies. Even though I've never really got into baseball I'll be a Rockies fan forever. My family and Brian went up to Vail to watch my dad play in a lacrosse tournament which was the best fun I've seen my dad have in a long time. For being only 41 he can still rock it. I used to love watching my dad play lacrosse. Growing up before Chris and I did soccer those were the games we went to every weekend. Recently we just had the 4th of July and this year Brian and I spent it in Englewood with my family. My mom was happy about that. And Brian bought a disco ball light saber thing ha ha he looked like a boy in a candy shop and it was the cutest thing ever. I would do anything for that boy. Hmm....recently stuff has happened and it made me very worried about my best friend, but things are getting worked out and getting better. Hopefully she'll be moving down here too and become my new roommate!! I'm soo excited for that to happen.